e it, they tell me.... In fact, the Sollubi  are subject
to  become  wealthy  and  arrogant  and  lose  their native
vileness. What is origin of  untouchable? Perhaps  a fallen
priest  caste.  In fact,  untouchables perform  a priestly
function  in  taking  on  themselves all  human vileness.)

  A. J. strolls through the Market in black cape with a
vulture perched on one shoulder. He stands by a table
of agents.
  "This you gotta hear. Boy in Los Angeles fifteen year
old. Father decide it is time the boy have his first piece
of ass. Boy is lying on the lawn reading comic books,
father go out and say: 'Son, here's twenty dollars; I
want you to go to a good whore and get a piece of ass
off her.'
  "So they drive to this plush jump joint, and the father
say, 'All right, son. You're on your own. So ring the bell
and when the woman come give her the twenty dollars
and tell her you want a piece of ass.'
  " 'Solid, pop.'
  "So about fifteen minutes later the boy comes out:
  " 'Well, son, did you get a piece of ass?'
  " 'Yeah. This gash comes to the door, and I say I want
a piece of ass and lay the double sawski on her. We go
up to her trap, and she remove the dry goods. So I
switch my blade and cut a big hunk off her ass, she raise
a beef like I am reduce to pull off one shoe and beat
her brains out. Then I hump her for kicks."
  Only the laughing bones remain, flesh over the hills
and far away with the dawn wind and a train whistle.
We are not unaware of the problem, and the needs of
our constituents are never out of our mind being their
place of residence and who can break a ninety-nine
year synapses lease?
  Another installment in the adventures of Clem Snide
the Private Ass Hole: "So I  walk in  the joint,  and this
female  hustler  sit  at  the  bar, and  I think,  'Oh God
you're poule de luxe already.' I mean it's like I  see the
gash before. So I  don't pay  her no  mind at  first, then
I dig she  is rubbing  her legs  together and  working her
feet up behind  her head  shoves it  down to  give herself
a douche  job with  a gadget  sticks out  of her  nose the
way a body can't help but notice."
  Iris -- half Chinese and half Negro  -- addicted  to dihy-
dro-oxy-heroin  -- takes  a shot  every fifteen  minutes to
which  end she  leaves droppers  and needles  sticking out
all over her.  The needles  rust in  her dry  flesh, which,
here  and  there,  has  grown completely  over a  joint to
form  a  smooth  green brown  wen. On  the table  in front
of  her  is  a samovar  of tea  and a  twenty-pound hamper
of  brown sugar.  No one  has ever  seen her  eat anything
else. It -is only just before a shot  that she  hears what
anyone says or talks  herself. Then  she makes  some flat,
factual statement relative to her own person.
  "My asshole is occluding."
  "My cunt got terrible green juices."
  Iris  is  one  of  Benway's  projects.  "The  human body
can  run  on  sugar  alone,  God  damn  it.... I  am aware
that certain of  my learned  colleagues, who  are attempt-
ing to belittle my genius work, claim that I  put vitamins
and proteins into Iris's  sugar clandestinely....  I chal-
lenge these  nameless assholes  to crawl  up out  of their
latrines and run a spot analysis on  Iris's sugar  and her
tea. Iris is a wholesome American  cunt. I  deny categori-
cally  that  she nourishes  herself on  semen. And  let me
take this opportunity to state that I am a  reputable sci-
entist, not a charlatan, a lunatic, or a  pretended worker
of miracles.... I never claimed  that Iris  could subsist
exclusive on photosynthesis.... I did  not say  she could
breathe in carbon dioxide and  give off  oxygen --  I con-
fess I have been  tempted to  experiment being  of course
restrained by my  medical ethics....  In short,  the vile
slanders of  my creeping  opponents will  inevitably fall
back  onto them  and come  to roost  like a  homing stool
pigeon."

        OъDINAъY MEN AND WOMEN

  Luncheon  of  Nationalist  Party  on  balcony overlook-
ing the  Market. Cigars,  scotch, polite  belches.... The
Party Leader strides about in a  jellaba smoking  a cigar
and drinking  scotch. He  wears expensive  English shoes,
loud socks, garters, muscular, hairy legs -- overall effect
of successful gangster in drag.
  P.L.  (pointing  dramatically):  "Look out  there. What
do you see?"
  LIEUTENANT: "Huh? Why, I see the Market."
  P.L.:  "No  you  don't.  You see  men and  women. Ordi-
ruzry  men and  women going  about their  ordinary every-
day tasks. Leading their ordinary  lives. That's  what we
need...."
  A street boy climbs over the balcony rail.
  Lieutenant:  "No,  we  do  not  want  to  buy  any  used
condoms! Cut!"
  P.L.:  "Wait!...  Come  in, my  boy. Sit  down.... Have
a cigar.... Have a drink."
  He paces around the boy like an aroused tom cat.
  "What do you think about the French?"
  -Huh?"
  'The  French.  The  Colonial  bastards  who  is  sucking
your live corpuscles."
  "Look  mister.  It cost  two hundred  francs to  suck my
corpuscule.  Haven't  lowered  my  rates  since  the  year
of  the  rindpest  when  all the  tourists died,  even the
Scandinavians."
  P.L.: "You see? This is pure uncut boy in the street."
  "You sure can pick'em, boss."
  "M.I. never misses."
  P.L.: "Now look, kid, let's put it this way.  The French
have dispossessed you of your birthright."
  "You  mean  like  Friendly  Finance?...  They  got  this
toothless  Egyptian eunuch  does the  job. They  figure he
arouse  less  antagonism,  you  dig,  he always  take down
his  pants  to  show you  his condition.  'Now I'm  just a
poor  old eunuch  trying to  keep up  my habit.  Lady, I'd
like to give you an extension on that artificial  kidney, I
got  a  job  to do  is all....  Disconnect her,  boys.' He
shows  his  gums in  a feeble  snarl.... 'Not  for nothing
am I known as Nellie the ъepossessor.'
  "So  they  disconnect  my  own  mother, the  sainted old
gash,  and  she  swell  up  and turn  black and  the whole
souk stink of  piss and  the neighbors  beef to  the Board
of Health and my father say: 'It's the will of  Allah. She
won't piss any more of my loot down the drain.'
  "Sick  people  disgust  me  already.  When  some citizen
start telling me about his cancer of  the prostate  or his
rotting  septum  make  with  that  purulent   discharge  I
tell him: 'You think I  am innarested  to hear  about your
horrible old condition? I am not innarested at all.' "
   P.L.: "All right. Cut... You  hate the  French, don't
you?"
   "Mister, I  hate everybody.  Doctor Benway  says it's
metabolic, I got this condition  of the  blood.... Arabs
and  Americans  got  it  special....  Doctor  Benway  is
concocting this serum."
   P.L.: "Benway is an infiltrating Western Agent."
   L.l: "A rampant French Jew..."
   L.2:  "A hog-balled,  black-assed Communist  Jew Nig-
ger.
   P.L.: "Shut up, you fool!"
   L.2:  "Sorry, chief.  I am  after being  stationed in
Pigeonhole."
   P.L.: "Don't go  near Benway."  (Aside: "I  wonder if
this will  go down.  You never  know how  primitive they
are....") "Confidentially he's a black magician."
   L.l: "He's got this resident djinn."
   "Uhuh... Well I got  a date  with a  high-type Ameri-
can client. A real classy fellah."
   P.L.: "Don't you  know it's  shameful to  peddle your
ass to the alien unbelieving pricks?"
   "Well that's a point of view. Have fun."
   P.L.: "Likewise." Exit boy. "They're hopeless  I tell
you. Hopeless."
   L.l. "What's with this serum?"
   P.L.: "I don't know, but it sounds ominous. We better
put a telepathic  direction finder  on Benway.  The man's
not  to be  trusted. Might  do almost  anything.... Turn
a massacre into a sex orgy....
   "Or a joke."
   "Precisely. Arty type... No principles..."
  AMEъICAN  HOUSEWIFE  (opening  a   box  of   Lux):  "Why
don't it have an  electric eye  the box  Hip open  when it
see  me  and  hand  itself  to  the  Automat Handy  Man he
should  put  it  inna  water  already....  The  Handy  Man
is outa control since Thursday,  he been  getting physical
with me and I didn't put it in his combination  at all....
And  the  Garbage  Disposal  Unit  snapping  at   me,  and
the  nasty  old  Mixmaster  keep  trying  to get  up under
my  dress.... I  got the  most awful  cold, and  my intes-
tines  is  all  constipated....  I'm gonna  put it  in the
Handy  Man's  combination  he   should  administer   me  a
high colonic awready."

  SALESMAN (he is something between an aggressive
Latah and a timid Sender): "ъecollect when I am
travelling with K. E., hottest idea man in the gadget
industry.
  "'Think of it!' he snaps. 'A cream seperator in your
own kitchen!'
  " 'K. E., my brain reels at the thought.'
  " 'It's five, maybe ten, yes, maybe twenty years away.
...But it's coming.'
  "'I'll wait, K. E. No matter how long it is I'll wait.
When the priority numbers are called up yonder I'll be
there.'
  "It was K. E. put out the Octopus Kit for Massage
Parlors, Barber Shops and Turkish Baths, with which
you can administer a high colonic, an unethical mas-
sage, a shampoo, whilst cutting the client's toenails and
removing his blackheads. And the M.D.'s Can Do Kit
for busy practitioners will take out your appendix, tuck
in a hernia, pull a wisdom tooth, ectomize your piles
and circumcise you. Well, K. E. is  such an  atomic sales-
man  if  he runs  out of  Octopus Kits  he is  subject, by
sheer charge,  to sell  an M.D.  Can Do  to a  barber shop
and some citizen wakes up with his piles cut out....
  "'Jesus,  Homer,  what  kinda  creep  joint  you running
here? I been gang fucked.'
  "'Well, landsake, Si,  I was  just aiming  to administer
our  complimentary  high  colonic   free  and   gratis  on
Thanksgiving  Day.  K.  E.  musta  sold  me the  wrong kit
again....' "

  Marz  Hvsvrxa:  "What  a  boy  hasta  put  up   with  in
this business. Gawd! The propositions  I get  you wouldn't
believe  it....   They  wanta   play  Latah,   they  wanta
merge  with my  protoplasm, they  want a  replica cutting,
they  wanta  suck  my  orgones,  they  wanta take  over my
past  experience  and  leave  old  memories  that  disgust
me....
  "I am fucking this citizen so I think, 'A  straight John
at last'; but he comes to a climax and turns  himself into
some  kinda  awful  crab....  I told  him, 'Jack,  I don't
hafta stand still for such a routine like this.... You can
take  that  business  to Walgreen's.'  Some people  got no
class to them.  Another horrible  old character  just sits
there and  telepathizes and  creams in  his dry  goods. So
nasty."
  The  bum  boys  fall  back  in  utter  confusion  to the
brink  of the  Soviet network  where Cossacks  hang parti-
sans to the wild wail of  bagpipes and  the boys  march up
Fifth  Avenue  to  be  met  by  Jimmy  Walkover  with  the
keys  to  The  Kingdom  and  no  strings   attached  carry
them loose in your pocket....
  Why  so  pale  and  wan,  fair  bugger?  Smell  of dead
leeches in a rusty tin  can latch  onto that  live wound,
suck  out  the  body  and blood  and bones  of Jeeeeesus,
leave him paralyzed from the waist down.
  Yield up thy  forms, boy,  to thy  sugar daddy  got the
exam  three  years early  and know  all the  answer books
fix the World Series.

  Slunk traffickers tail a  pregnant cow  to her  labor. The
farmer declares a couvade,  rolls screaming  in bullshit.
The veterinarian wrestles with a cow skeleton.  The traf-
fickers  machinegun  each   other,  dodging   through  the
machinery and silos, storage  bins, haylofts  and mangers
of a vast red barn. The calf is born. The forces of death
melt in morning. Farm boy kneels reverently --  his throat
pulses in the rising sun.
  Junkies  sitting  on the  courthouse steps,  waiting on
The  Man.  ъed Necks  in black  stetsons and  faded Levis
tie a Nigra boy  to an  old iron  lamppost and  cover him
with  burning  gasoline....  The  junkies  rush  over and
draw  the  flesh  smoke deep  into their  aching lungs....
They really got relief....
  The  County  Clerk: "So  there I  was sitting  in front
of Jed's store  over in  Cunt Lick  my peter  standing up
straight as a jack pine under my  Levis just  apulsin' in
the  sun....  Weell, old  Doc Scranton  walks by,  a good
old boy too, there's not a finer man in this  valley than
Doc  Scranton.  He's  got  a  prolapsed asshole  and when
he wants to get screwed he'll pass you  his ass  on three
feet of in-tes-tine.... If he's a mind to it he  can drop
out a piece of gut reaches from his  office clear  over to
ъoy's Beer Place, and it go feelin' around lookin'  for a
peter, just afeelin' around like a blind worm.... So old
Doc Scranton sees my peter and he stops like  a pointin'
dog and  he says  to me,  'Luke, I  can take  your pulse
from here.' "
  Browbeck  and  Young  Seward  fight  with  hog  castra-
tors  through  barns  and  cages  and  yiping kennels...
whinnying horses bare great  yellow teeth,  cows bellow,
dogs howl, copulating cats scream like babies, a  pen of
huge hogs, spines bristling, give  a great  Bronx cheer.
Browbeck  the  Unsteady  has  fallen  to  the  sword  of
Young  Seward,  clutches  at  blue  intestines  spurting
from  an  eight-inch  gash. Young  Seward cuts  off Brow-
beck's cock and holds it pulsing in the smoky  rose sun-
rise....
  Browbeck screams... subway brakes spit ozone....
  "Stand back, folks.... Stand back."
  "They say somebody pushed him."
  "He  was  weaving  around  unsteady  like  he couldn't
see good."
  "Too much smoke in the eyes, I guess."
  Mary  the  Lesbian  Governess has  slipped to  the pub
floor  on  a bloody  kotex.... A  three-hundred-pound fag
tramples her to death with pathic whinnies....
  He sings in hideous falsetto:

  He is trampling out the vintage cohere the grapes of
                                    [wrath are stored,
He has loosed the fatal lightning of his terrible swift
                                               [sword.

  He  pulls  a gilded  wooden sword  and chops  the air.
His corset flies off and whistles into the dart board.
  The  old   bullfighter's  sword   buckles  on   bone  and
whistles into  the heart  of the  Espontaneo, pins  his un-
consummate valor to the stands.

  "So  this  elegant  faggot  comes to  New York  from Cunt
Lick, Texas, and he is the  most piss  elegant fag  of them
all. He is  taken up  by old  women of  the type  batten on
young  fags,  toothless  old  predators  too  weak  and too
slow  to  run  down  other  prey.  Old  moth-eaten  tigress
shit sure turn into a fag eater.... So this  citizen, being
an  arty  and  crafty  fag,  begins making  costume jewelry
and  jewelry  sets.  Every  rich  old  gash in  Greater New
York  wants  he  should  do  her  sets,  and  he  is making
money,  21, El  Morocco, Stork,  but no  time for  sex, and
all the  time worrying  about his  rep..., He  begins play-
ing  the  horses,  supposed  to  be  something  manly about
gambling  God  knows  why,  and  he  figures it  will build
him up to  be seen  at the  track. Not  many fags  play the
horses,  and  those that  play lose  more than  the others,
they  are  lousy  gamblers  plunge in  a losing  streak and
hedge  when  they  win...  which   being  the   pattern  of
their  lives....  Now every  child knows  there is  one law
of  gambling: winning  and losing  come in  streaks. Plunge
when  you  win, fold  when you  lose. ( I  once knew  a fag
dip into  the till  -- not  the whole  two thousand  at once
on  the  nose  win  or  Sing  Sing.  Not  our  Gertie... Oh
no a deuce at a time... )
  "So  he  loses  and  loses  and lose  some more.  One day
he is about to put a  rock in  a set  when the  obvious oc-
cur. 'Of course, I'll replace it later.' Famous last words.
So  all  that winter,  one after  the other,  the diamonds,
emeralds,  pearls, rubies  and star  sapphires of  the haut
monde go in hock and replaced by queer replicas....
  "So the opening night of the Met this old hag appear
as she thinks resplendent in her diamond tiara. So this
other old whore approach and say, 'Oh, Miggles, you're
so smart... to leave the real ones at home.... I mean
we're simply mad to go around tempting fate.'
  " 'You're mistaken, my dear. These are real.'
  " 'Oh but Miggles dahling, they're not.... I mean ask
your jeweler.... Well just ask anybody. Haaaaaa.'
  "So a Sabbath is hastily called. (Lucy Bradshinkel,
look to thy emeralds. ) All these old witches examining
their rocks like a citizen find leprosy on himself.
  " 'My chicken blood ruby!'
  " 'My black oopalls!' Old bitch marry so many times
so many gooks and spics she don't know her accent
from her ass....
  " 'My stah sahphire!' shriek a poule de luxe. 'Oh it's
all so awfull'
  " 'I mean they are strictly from Woolworth's....'
  " 'There's only one thing to do. I'm going to call the
police,' says a strong-minded, outspoken old thing; and
she clump across the floor on her low heels and calls the
fuzz."
  "Well, the faggot draws a deuce; and in the box he
meets this cat who is some species of cheap hustler, and
love sets in or at least a facsimile thereof convince the
parties inna first and second parts. As continuity would
have it, they are sprung at the same time more or less
and take up residence in a fiat on the Lower East Side.
...And cook in and both are working legit modest jobs.
...So Brad and Jim know happiness for the first time.
  "Enter the powers of evil.... Lucy Bradshinkel has
come to say all is forgiven She has faith in Brad and
wants to set him up in a studio. Of course, he will have
to move to the East Sixties.... 'This place is impossible,
dahling; and your friend...' And a safe mob wants Jim
back to drive a car. This is a step up, you dig? Offer
from citizens hardly see him before.
  "Will Jim go back to crime? Will Brad succumb to
the blandishments of an aging vampire, a ravening
Maw?... Needless to say, the forces of evil are routed
and exit with ominous snarls and mutterings.
  " 'The Boss isn't going to like this.'
  " 'I don't know why I ever wasted my time with you,
you cheap, vulgar little fairy.'
  "The boys stand at the tenement window, their arms
around each other, looking at the Brooklyn Bridge. A
warm spring wind ruffles Jim's black curls and the fine
hennaed hair of Brad.
  " 'Well, Brad, what's for supper?'
  " 'You just go in the other room and wait.' Playfully
he shoos Jim out of the kitchen, and puts on his apron.
  "Dinner is Lucy Bradshinkel's cunt saignant cooked
in kotex papillon. The boys eat happily looking into
each other's eyes. Blood runs down their chins."

    Let  the  dawn  blue as  a flame  cross the  city.... The
backyards  are  clean  of fruit,  and the  ash pits  give up
their hooded dead....
    "Could you show me the way to Tipperary, lady?"
    Over the  hills and  far away  to Blue  Grass.... Across
the  bone  meal  of  lawn  to  the  frozen  pond  where sus-
pended goldfish wait for the spring Squaw Man.
    The screaming  skull rolls  up the  back stairs  to bite
off  the  cock  of  erring  husband taking  dour advantage
of his wife's earache to do  that which  is inconvenient.
The  young  landlubber  dons  a  southwester,  beats  his
wife to death in the shower....

  Benway: "Don't take  it so  hard, kid....  'Jeder macht
eine   kleine  Dummheit.'"   (Everyone  makes   a  little
dumbness. )
  Schafer: "I  tell you  I can't  escape a  feeling... well,
of evil about this."
  Benway:  "Balderdash,   my  boy...   We're  scientists.
...Pure  scientists.  Disinterested  research  and damned
be him who  cries 'Hold,  too much1'  Such people  are no
better than